Top 5 Jokes Told by U.S. Presidents (That Kids Will Love!)
Presidents are serious people with big jobs, but many of them had a great sense of humor! Here are five of the funniest, most famous jokes actually told by U.S. presidents. They’re short, clean, and perfect for sharing with friends or at school. Which one makes you laugh the hardest?
- Calvin Coolidge (Silent Cal’s classic deadpan style)
A lady at a dinner party bet she could get more than two words out of the famously quiet president.
She leaned over and said: “Mr. President, I bet I can get you to say more than two words tonight.”
Coolidge looked at her and replied:
“You lose.” - Abraham Lincoln (The king of tall-tale humor)
A visitor asked Lincoln how long a man’s legs should be.
Lincoln thought for a second and answered:
“Long enough to reach the ground.” - Ronald Reagan (The master of self-deprecating one-liners)
After being shot in 1981, Reagan was rushed to the hospital. As doctors prepared to operate, he looked up at them and said:
“I hope you’re all Republicans.”
(The surgeon, who was a Democrat, replied: “Today, Mr. President, we’re all Republicans.”) - John F. Kennedy (Quick wit at a press dinner)
At the 1961 Gridiron Club dinner, JFK joked about his wealthy father paying for his campaign:
“My father always told me: ‘Don’t buy a single vote more than necessary. I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for a landslide.’” - Barack Obama (Modern presidential humor gold)
At the 2016 White House Correspondents’ Dinner, Obama poked fun at his own age and legacy:
“I am not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be.”
- Grover Cleveland (after vetoing a bill): “What can I do when both parties insist on kicking?”
- Theodore Roosevelt (on being shot during a speech): “It takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose!”
